and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
