I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
