Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
