I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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