I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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