I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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