I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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