Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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