so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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