Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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