facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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