i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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