you're like a bully in the Christmas story
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
