I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
