How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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