I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
