Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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