Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
