I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
