he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
