my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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