I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
