one two three fourrrrnication!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The Olympian is in my bed
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
