ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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