Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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