the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
