I should be sponsored by Trojan
In America we eat man semen.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think my moral compass just broke
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