Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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