I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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