kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
