They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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