Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My ass is underappreciated
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
