UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
