I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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