it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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