i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
