Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
