what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
