dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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