Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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