two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
