I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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