I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
