you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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