I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
