I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
