I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
