Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think my fart just growled at me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
