I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
