I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
