let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
